"Let it go" is a sound piece of advice, often given to people who are trying to get past some frustrating situation and move forward.
Except sometimes, you just can't.
I know I can't. As noted in my prior blog, it's been two years since I departed Bloomberg Radio to return to CNBC. And the circumstances that led me to leave rankle me just as much today as they did the day I left.
Bloomberg LP in general is, shall we say, a quirky place. The eccentricities of the company, and the people who run it, have been well documented elsewhere. All I know is, despite that, while I was there, I wound up in THE perfect job for me, the one I'd always wanted. From 2001-2005, I anchored mornings with my good friends Connell McShane, now of Fox Business Network, and Ben Farnsworth, a New York legend on both radio and TV.
Since I was 8, I wanted to be on the radio. I was unwavering in this career goal. I decided early on to specialize in business because I liked the subject, and found to my delight that it was an advantage in an era when very few broadcasters specialized in that subject.
Despite Bloomberg's quirks, and an unorthodox approach to programming radio and television, I loved my job. I was good at it. Despite the frustrations surrounding those quirks, I would have been happy to keep doing it forever.
Except one day, they took it away.
Someone in power decided they didn't like my voice (they unfathomably decided this about Ben as well) and removed us from the show. From there, things quickly deteriorated to where by March 2006, I was vastly underemployed. I wrote, did brief reports, produced, helped others, but it just wasn't the same.
Thankfully, the wonderful people at CNBC were there to rescue me. I'd left there on excellent terms (see my blog about karma!) and had always kept in touch. I was offered the job as breaking news producer and gladly accepted. And now that I've been back there for two years, it seems like the home it's always been. In terms of the overall culture and the people, it was and still is the best place I've ever worked.
But I still can't get over the Bloomberg thing.
A good friend of mine told me "Dude" (yes, he actually used the word "dude") .. "don't let people live rent-free in your head."
He's right. I guess. But it feels as bad today as the day it happened.
Those who are on the air in radio and TV will always be subject to the whims of those who manage them. You have to accept that. It comes with the territory.
I'm lucky. I have a great job at a great place and - the frustrations of not doing much radio aside - consider myself to be quite fortunate.
But I don't know that I'll ever be totally at peace with this. I tell people that TV producer is what I do, but radio anchor is what I am. And I'll always believe that.